Fat Pun Goes Here

I was reading this post at F-Word and I realized the part I hate the most about weight loss advice.  (Other than it simply existing.)

Most articles about losing weight seem to be written by people who think all fat people have the IQ of one of the many donuts we assumedly cram down our gullets daily.

A “weight loss tip” is “don’t celebrate a successful workout by eating M&Ms”.  Really?  Do you honestly think that anyone out there is deluding themselves that eating the M&Ms is really “OK”?  I bet that most people end up gorging on chocolate because even though they’ve worked out and “been good”, they realize they still aren’t losing weight and they go for the sugar rush of sweet, sweet candy to feel better about themselves.

I had a slim friend opine that the way to lose weight was to “eat less and exercise”.  He’s never been fat.  Yet somehow he not only magically knows the perfect solution to losing weight, but needed to inform me because apparently, in his opinion, I’d lived in a cave for most of my life.

The assumption that eating less and exercising works is so frustratingly ingrained in our society.   90% of diets fail because the human body is amazingly efficient at slowing down the metabolism despite all attempts to lose weight.  It’s so apparent, just look at the studies and (nearly) everyone’s experiences!   I can point at the sun and claim it’s the middle of the day, and people will shake their heads and tell me that it is obviously dark out, and I’m looking at the moon.  (Points to anyone who gets the Shakespearian reference…)

Maybe those people who think the sun is the moon might just have gone blind from staring at it too long.

The ASPCA has posted a warning about diet drugs being marketed for pets, and recommends that pills are not the solution for long term weight loss in pets.

My first thought was “how idiotic”. We control what our pets eat, and if we feed them the right amount, then they won’t be fat. Right?

Then I realized that I was using the same line that all the bigots use on fat people. “If you just stopped stuffing your face you’d lose weight.” No, the body will modify its metabolism to deal with reduced calories.

So are there pets out there who are fat and are being starved by their owners but still not losing weight? Or are humans the only ones whose metabolisms have learned to cope with reduced calories?

Our dog is a lab cross, so is prone to being chubby. We’ve kept her at an “average” weight by feeding a bit less than the amount recommended on the pet food label. She also gets good quality food. Weight has never been a big issue for her.

Do you own a chubby pet? Have you ever made them go on a diet? Did it work?

I have been recently diagnosed with sleep apnea.  My blood oxygen levels plummet as low as 30% while I sleep.  I have snored for most of my life, so I’ve probably had sleep apnea for a long time.

All the doctors say that being fat causes sleep apnea.   For some odd reason though, not every fat person has sleep apnea, and thin people also have sleep apnea.  Seems like the good old doctors are pulling cause and effect diagnoses out of their rectums again.  I was told that my diaphragm was probably unable to move all my fat in order to keep breathing fully while I was asleep.  Apparently every other muscle in my body has gotten stronger in order to hold my weight except for my poor weeny little diaphragm.  So why didn’t he recommend I take singing classes to strengthen it?

I Googled for any studies on sleep apnea treatment (specifically the CPAP machine) actually resulting in weight loss.  I found this link where the author quotes a study where 43% of CPAP compliant patients lost more than 10 pounds.  He theorizes that if doctors could just accept that perhaps sleep apnea could cause weight gain, rather than the other way around, maybe they would have examined the patients who didn’t lose weight to ensure that their CPAP machines were actually working effectively.

Here’s a Chinese study that found losing weight didn’t cure sleep apnea.  What a strange happenstance, that the fat in our necks is causing sleep apnea but losing the fat doesn’t cure it.   Must be “phantom fat” that remains, kind of like a “phantom limb”.

It will be interesting to see what happens once I begin CPAP machine therapy.

Oh, the irony of it all.

You’d think that someone as bellyiferous as myself would be a natural at bellydancing.  I was intrigued when a friend arranged for  a bunch of her fat friends to try out a private bellydancing class.   I thought it would be an incredibly empowering experience.  Jiggling is a bonus when bellydancing, so the more you have to jiggle, the better! Right?

Only one problem… my body type.  I’m an apple.  My tummy is somehow connected to my upper body, not my lower.  I have relatively skinny legs.  If I “shimmy” my hips, my belly stays still.  If I “shimmy” my shoulders, my belly moves… when it’s not supposed to.  I try sliding my hips or ribcage to the sidesand I can’t tell if I’m doing it right or not.  I can feel myself moving, but in the mirror my boobs and belly cover it up.

I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed that it didn’t work out for me.   I guess fat person stereotypes suck even when they should work in our favour… bellydancing isn’t empowering for every fat woman.

I started this blog to join in the chorus of fat acceptance. I started this blog because I want people to know that the fat person walking down the street next to them shouldn’t be prejudged just because their bodies happen to be very efficient at storing energy.

I am a supersize woman. I am a happily married lesbian. I didn’t “settle” for just anyone, I waited until I found the right person. I have a degree in Computer Science. I have a good job. I love to paint, to do crafts, and to write. I volunteer in my community, and even played a major role in saving a local charity during a rough time. I play Dance Dance Revolution for fun and I occasionally swim or do whatever other activity strikes my fancy. I have done all these things while being a very fat woman.

I’m far from perfect, but when someone calls me “fatso” while driving by in a car, I have to roll my eyes. They’re obviously compensating for something by trying to make others feel as “little” as they are. (And since 100% of the drive by insults I’ve experienced have come from men, I think you can grasp what I’m referring to.) Come to think of it, the same could be said for internet trolls.

It’s taken me years to realize that my fat hasn’t held me back, in fact it’s acted as idiot repellent. Twits who judge others only by their weight will stay away from me. I like it that way. I also love feeling substantial. For instance, nobody butts ahead of me in line. There are advantages to having the muscle necessary to carry this weight around. I can hipcheck you into the next time zone!

The sad thing is, I shouldn’t have to justify my weight to anyone. Everyone, no matter their accomplishments, deserves to be evaluated on who they are, not on how they look.

Many people have lived through traumatic events in their childhoods. Some people manage to cope, perhaps with the help of a good support system. Some people turn to drugs, or cigarettes, or alcohol. I turned to food.

Of those crutches, my addiction is the only one that can be immediately seen and judged. I remember when I was a teen, wishing that I had used one of the other drugs so that at least people wouldn’t be able to see my shame, my failure to cope, my fat, when they met me. I could be an alcoholic and cashiers would smile at me even while I bought ice cream. I could smoke cigarettes and blend into the crowd, not have strangers call me “fat cow” or moo at me while driving by on the street. And we all know that heroin addicts are skinny, for as long as they manage to live, anyway.

This is perhaps the biggest reason that I’ve started this blog. How sick is our society’s view of fat right now, that I would have chosen to be a heroin addict over being fat? I actually tried to smoke cigarettes several times, because everyone knows that smoking helps you lose weight, right? Luckily I turned out to be allergic to smoke. I lived in a small town, and I wasn’t a popular kid, of course, so access to drugs was minimal. I did some drinking, but it wasn’t something I could do easily when I was most anxious or frantic for comfort. Food was available at any time of day.

I have regular physicals, my blood pressure and cholesterol are fine, and I have no health complaints otherwise. Even at close to 400 pounds, I can move around just fine and even dance! My relationship with food has normalized, which as we all know doesn’t mean I will lose weight. I can stay active and be healthy, and that’s a good goal for anyone of any size.

Now that I’m (much) older, I realize that I made the right choice. The option of a supportive family wasn’t there for me, and looking at the other options, overeating has left me far healthier than they would have.

Apparently there are some “food geeks” out there, otherwise known as food critics and famous chefs, who happen to be fat. Oh-so-coyly labeled as “The Fat Pack”, they must be fat because they overeat, and they must be unhealthy because they’re fat. Right?

Read the NY Times article here.

Mr. Perlow was 400 lbs, felt sick, was diagnosed with diabetes. That must mean all fat people will get diabetes! Hmm…. but my “normal” weight coworker was just diagnosed with diabetes too. Perlow’s doctor told him he’d be dead in five years, so he’s trying to lose weight.

What would a skinny person with his symptoms be told? “You’re gonna die in five years, too bad you’re not fat or you could diet and save your life.”

One “foodie”, Jeffrey Steingarten, says that he “agrees with the Fat Pack’s stance against mainstream diet and exercise advice and their belief in genetic predisposition to heft. “But,” he said, “that doesn’t give an excuse to the fatty to say O.K., I’m not even going to think about it because it is just so hard to do.””

Apparently mainstream diet and exercise advice sucks… but we need to diet and exercise anyway, or we’re just making excuses. Woo hoo, off to the weird diet books! Grapefruit and shark fin diet, here we come!

Honestly, is anyone else seeing the contradictions here? “Sure there’s only a 2% chance of keeping the weight off over five years… but it’s better to stress your body out with weight loss and regain than to do nothing!”

The worst comment is from Mario Batali. “You can’t eat a large portion of a pig and lose weight.” That’s right, fat people are all eating over 200 lbs of pork a day. A week? A year? It’s infuriating to think that “society” thinks this way. Fat people must be eating most of a pig each meal. I mean, if they’d just eat ten cheeseburgers instead of twenty for lunch, they’d lose weight!

We don’t all eat huge amounts of food. In fact, most fat people who have dieted all their lives have to eat less than average just to keep from gaining more weight.

The article ends on a hopeful note, that people can actually enjoy eating healthy food. Yes, we can, and we can also do that and not lose weight. It’s the truth, wake up and smell the tofu.

It’s so ironic that although I came out as a lesbian years ago, I have to write about fat acceptance anonymously.

I’d heard about this “Fatosphere” a while back and thought that I should really check it out.   I’ve been amazed and astounded at how much better I feel after reading fat acceptance blogs.   I finally realized that I have something to say as well, and I hope you’ll find it interesting.